Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Fighting off the Flu and Knife-wielding Toddlers

I had a tough weekend - I think the post title says it all. What? You need more details? OK, ok...

Zman and Princess were both sick with the flu all weekend; technically, Zman is STILL sick though the fever has finally gone down. I've said before that Princess is not a fun person to be around when she's under the weather and she didn't make an exception this time! The whining, the fussing, the complaining... and that was just my hubby.

Wait, that's not the part you wanted to hear about? You people are all about the sensationalism! OK, here's the real story...

Scene:
A frazzled mother is juggling three whining kids, making dinner, and unloading the dishwasher. She turns her back to grab something from the pantry when she hears her oldest daughter cry out.

Princess: “Mom! Zboy is juggling knives!!”

The mom turns in horror to see her 20 month old son holding two very sharp steak knives by the blade, point up. She tries to maintain a calm demeanor because she knows if he thinks she’s going to take something away that he wants to play with that he will RUN… something that could end disastrously in this instance.
Mother: “Zboy, please give mommy the knives”

The toddler hands over one knife willingly.

Mother: “Thank you. Now, please give me the other knife”

The boy refuses to give up the second “treasure” tightening his grip on the blade while his pale mother tries not to panic. He now holds the knife in both hands and is trying to pick his nose with the point.

Mother crouching near the child: “Zboy! That’s not safe!! Please give mommy the knife and we’ll go read Baby Beluga. Zboy NO! Don’t put the knife in your nose!!!”

The boy sees that the book reading offer is really just a cheap bribe to entice him to give up his new toy. He’s not going to give it up that easily.

Mother: “Zboy, GIVE MOMMY THE KNIFE RIGHT NOW!!!”

The boy walks toward his mom seeming to be willing to hand the second knife over but decides at the last moment to give her his free hand instead. This turns out to be a mistake as now that the mom knows the boy can’t run off she seizes the opportunity to grab the knife-wielding hand by the wrist and exert enough pressure to prevent the toddler from tightening his grip on the blade and cutting his hand. Seeing his possession of the knife is at stake, the boy begins to trash about swinging the blade wildly back and forth. The mother is unable to release the boy’s non knife baring hand quickly enough to prevent being stabbed in the back of her hand. The mother drops the boy’s free hand and quickly wrenches the knife from her son’s hand and places it safely next to the other one on the counter-top. She releases the now screaming child and rises shaking to her feet. The stab wound proves to be very shallow and barely bleeding but the mom can’t resist calling out to her husband in the back of the house.

Mother: “Honey! Your son just stabbed me with a knife!!”

Yeah... it was that kind of day. I'm just thankful that no one was badly injured. After 3 kids, you'd think I'd know better than to leave the dishwasher open with knives in it!




3 comments:

Anne said...

OMG! Horrifying, so I feel terrible for laughing. This is the reason all of our knives are so dull it's like cutting something with a 2 x 4.

My sister (the mother of one very EASY and compliant child) sent me some really sharp, nice knives after visiting me last summer and cooking in my kitchen. They're great but I'm terrified that Hayat is going to get her mitts on them -- she has no common sense and anything even slightly intriguing is fair game. And she climbs.

Hiding knives now.

p.s. You stay away from those flu viruses, okay? :)

habeshachild said...

holy CRAP!! just reading that got my blood pressure up.

Debbie B said...

OMG! So glad there was only a minor injury. Wow! Hope everyone is feeling healthy again soon.