Cast:
Me - Carrie, the ever patient mom. (snort)
Her - Bureaucrat in training - learning the phone version of Chinese Water Torture.
() - Things I think but rarely say out loud

Her: Alaska Vita Statistics Adoption Desk. How may I help you?
Me: We recently went through the process of re-adopting our son and I'd like to know how long it will take before we can get his new BC.
Her: OK, let me check on that. What is your son's last name...his new one.
Me: The same as his "old" one _______ (saying and spelling our last name which is also a girls first name)
Her: That's your LAST name?
Me: Yes.
Her: What was your son's last name prior to the adoption?
Me: It was the same.
Her: Well that's convenient for you... What's his date of birth?
Me: (gave date)
Her: When was the adoption completed
Me: A week ago Monday.
Her: Let me check on this for you. (on hold till the end of time)
Her: Well, I don't have a record of your son.
Me: Well, since the RE-ADOPTION only took place a little over a week ago, I'm not surprised you don't have any information on him yet. I'm just calling to find out an estimated time-line so I can plan when we can get the new BC. We need it to be able to apply for his certificate of citizenship.
Her: He's not from Alaska?
Me: No, we adopted him from Ethiopia.
Her: Well that explains it then. If the adoption was in another country then you won't be able to get a BC for him here. We only handle adoption that happen in Alaska.
Me: *sigh* That is why we went through the RE-ADOPTION (saying it s l o w l y) process here in Alaska. We were told (OK not really but still...) that we would be getting an Alaska BC for him after the re-adoption proceedings. I have a Alaska Superior Court adoption degree.
Her: Well, I've never heard of that. I don't think we do THAT here but let me check on that for you. (once again on hold time the end of time)
Her: My supervisor says we only issue BC for Alaska adoptions.
Me: IT IS AN ALASKAN ADOPTION. I'm holding the ALASKAN adoption degree in my hand right now!
Her: Let me talk to my supervisor again. (holding. holding. holding.)
Her: Well, we don't get the court documents for at least a month after the proceedings and I can't issue a BC until we get the degree.
Me: I have a copy of the degree. Can I bring this one in or does it have to come directly from the court?
Her: Let me check with my supervisor. (you get the idea)
Her: It has to come directly from the court. Call back in a month.
Me: Thank you for your time. What was your name again? (So I can ask for someone else next time)

If this is how just getting the birth certificate goes, I'm REALLY looking forward to applying for his US passport!