I know that yesterday's court proceedings were just a formality, my husband kept reminding me of that every time I started to freak out, but for some reason it was a HUGE deal to me. I did all the paperwork myself and was concerned that some technicality would delay us - but I never worried that the judge would declare us unfit parents and demand we send him back, so that wasn't what was making me anxious. It was wonderful that Zboy became a citizen, his name was changed and that our adoption was formally recognized by the government, but all those things felt like technicalities; things that would eventually happen no matter what.

Today it finally dawned on me that I was so nervous/excited was because this was the only formal adoption ritual that we got to participate in. We weren't involved when someone decided who our son would be. We didn't go to court in Ethiopia and the Embassy appointment was a non-event; more like going to the DMV than an important family moment. This time we got to be there. We held our son in front of the judge with our daughters and with our family looking on and were declared his parents. *Goosebumps* When we met him in Addis, we were strangers; this time we were family. This wasn’t adding an unknown child to our family, any child; we were formally and officially declaring that we wanted to be THIS child’s parents. In every way he is ours and we are his.

Yesterday, after court, after breakfast, I couldn’t keep the goofy grin of my face. I felt light, also weightless. I hadn’t realized how much all the adoption hoops we have to jump through was weighing on me until it was gone. It still seems like a dream. Can we really be done? Is the adoption journey really and truly finally behind us? I can’t believe it. WE MADE IT!!

posted at 10:32 AM  
Labels: Adoption