Friday, April 20, 2007

Silly Me

Today we have been waiting for exactly 2 months. Not too bad. It's nice to see the days pass by knowing each one brings us a bit closer to our referral. It also helps that 2 people received referrals on my agency forum yesterday! One waited a little over 6 months and the other waited just under four months. Of course as an obsessive PAP I quickly took all this new data into consideration and calculated our odds of getting a referral it time to beat court closures.

Scenario #1 - We get a referral on a similar time frame to our forum friend who waited 4 months. (We have similar referral requests so it could happen) That would have us getting a referral in the third week in June and we would hopefully have enough time to get through the courts before they close in the first week (or so) of August. Add 5 weeks to that for travel and we could be in Ethiopia in late August/early September. YEAH!! This assumes of course that our child has already been in care for the required 3 months and that we make it through courts on the first go round; there have been problems with that lately and many cases have had to go to court several times. If we didn't make it thorough before courts, see scenario #2.

Scenario #2 - We get a referral at 6 months. This means we get a referral in the 3rd week of August and going to court sometime in late October/ early November; if courts start up again like they did last year. We would then travel in late November through mid December, which would be tough because those months are extremely hectic around here personally and professionally. Not that we wouldn't drop everything and go of course, it would just be a lot more difficult.

I would love to travel this summer and have my baby in my arms as soon as possible. That is a given for all adoptive parents I think. I am resigned to scenario #2 though and would welcome the extra time to get things pulled together and save funds. (Ok, I'm lying to myself but denial is a good coping mechanism...right?) Worst case for me would be getting an early referral and then missing court. I would much rather wait longer for a referral then wait longer after referral!

Of course I have no idea which scenario is more likely at this point. Yesterday I broke down and emailed our agency, for the first time, to fish for information. Here is my polite note.

Can you tell me what the current wait time looks like? We are trying to plan our summer and I'm not sure if we have any hope of getting a referral and court date before the annual court closure. I don't mind waiting until fall if we have to, but it'd be nice to have an idea so we can formalize our plans and maybe take a trip down to visit family this summer. Obviously if it's highly likely we will be going to Ethiopia this summer then we don't want plan a vacation.

I know you can give me any concrete dates! I'm trying hard not to obsess and just go with the flow, but I'm a chronic planner!! :) I also want to be sure I have realistic expectations.

And the response? (I edited out all the personal info and friendly banter.)

We are seeing approx. 4-6month wait from Dossier submission to referral. So your time frame could go either way depending on court closure. I wish I could give families an exact date but that would only occur in a perfect world. I truly wish I could be the barer of good news but I am not.

Very helpfully. Thanks.
Oh well, it was worth a shot...right?



Jill said...

I obsess over dates and possible timelines too! I'm always counting and thinking if X happens by Y, then he'll be home by Z. It helps me get through the wait. I agree that you want the wait BEFORE you get the referral. We're adopting through Guatemala and got our referral in the end of August and are still waiting to bring our boy home with no definite end in sight. Good luck to you!

Tricia said...

We are doing the date thing as well. Either what to be there (Russia) and back by August. Or assume Trip 1 will be before or just after August, and home before the end of the year. In either case, we are holding ourselves "hostage" until further notice. Nothing can be planned more than two or three weeks out! :)

Have a nice weekend!

Maggie said...

Ambiguous answers. That's all adoption agencies can give most of the time, unfortunately. I'm sure they wish they could be more specific, too. Welcome to adoption limbo! I hope yours is short-lived.

MMrussianadoption said...

You came up with the same answer without asking your agency. They have to tell you that otherwise you would be down their backs all summer if scenario 2 happened.