Monday, May 29, 2006

Momma Bear

As I surfed through my blogs recently I came across one from a family adopting a baby girl from Haiti. Her name is Angeline and she is combating so many medical problems that should have taken her life. That she is alive and still fighting is a miracle. Her adoptive mom, Sarah, has shown amazing strength under terrible pressure and strain. One particular situation really impacted me. This is what she had to say about it.

The head doc in the PICU today was a less than special person. He insisted that Angel has had surgery below her "bag". I tried to explain about the horrible bed sores and that is the scaring and he wasn't going for the truth so I dropped it. He then told me that he thinks that Angel has a pituitary gland problem and that she is not going to grow... Then tells me that she likely has chiari's and if she moves her head wrong it will kill her instantly, then told me that Angel has another "brain" problem and is likely blind... my Mom and I stood there in utter disbelief at his words. He was harsh and asked me if I knew that "the baby had this when I went to Haiti to get her". He made her life seem like it held no value because of her special needs, he made me very upset.

I can’t even imagine the pain this caused this mom. I can’t believe someone would question the value of a child simple because she is sick or disabled. The callousness of this doctor is amazing to me. Are adopted children so undervalued in our society? Would someone really not understand that you are telling a mother that her child might die, or have terrible disabilities, and that maybe you could show some compassion? Just a little?

I had a dream about this last night. I had brought home our baby from Ethiopia and he was sick. Will took him to the hospital while I found someone to watch the girls. When I arrived at the hospital, Z-man told me that the doctor had said things similar to the above quote and I lost it. I stormed through the halls until I found that doctor and I screamed at him so loudly and for so long that I actually woke myself up crying. I think I’m really starting to process this adoption. I’m beginning to feel about our next child how I feel about my girls. How can I love someone I’ve never met?

I’m not sure what this means, but I do know that the next person who says something derogative about our adoption had better WATCH OUT!


jeneflower said...

What a struggle for this mom. People can be so insensitive sometimes, esp. some doctors. They don't teach good "good bedside manner" in medical school- so you are just lucky if you get a sensitive doc. I hope she has a supportive network around her. I will have to check out her blog.

I am having strange adoption dreams too. That is so great that you already have so much love in your heart for the child you will have. I am totally with you there.

sarah said...

I just ran across your blog today. I was wondering how the adoption process was going for you. We are still in the very early stages and it's always good to find someone else going through the experience.

Rhonda said...

You can definitely love someone you've never met. I think your love for your adoptive child is so evident. I love reading your site and can't wait to see where the adoption journey takes you.