Princess has a cold. This wouldn't be such a tragedy in and of itself, I'm mean sure she tends to be a bit of a drama queen, especially when sick, but in the vast scheme of childhood illnesses this is really no biggie... or it would be if not for the infamous cough.

Most people when they have a cold save up their coughs and then hack it all up in one big go. This might be every few minutes but it’s a productive, if exhausting, endeavor. My Princess on the other hand will cough a raspy non-productive cough every 5 seconds… She will cough day and night and, like Chinese water torture, it will slowly drive you INSANE. The cough goes on and on until your eardrums start to bleed and you are ready to jab sharp pointy things into them to stop the insanity.

This cough is unfettered by all conventional tricks. Hot tea? Nope. Cold beverages? Nada. Homeopathic? Yeah right! Traditional cough suppressants? Not a chance. The cough mocks us, refusing to be reigned in.

As a parent I naturally want to do everything in my power to help my child when she doesn’t feel well but when she has this cough she is not allowed to sleep in my room. The danger of being smothered with a pillow is too high. I also have a very hard time being in her presence for more than 5 minutes at a time; see water torture comment. Zman is similarly affected; we take turns wearing earplugs at night to drown out the incessant sound while the unlucky parent listens miserably to the cough, able to spring into action in the event of danger.

To this fun, we add back in our drama queen. She makes the most of this evil cough. She starts to introduce each one like it’s a sneeze. Ahhhh, ahhhhh, cough. And then will finish it off with a half choke, half whine. Lovely and not at all likely to make you want to kill yourself...really.

So dear internets, please save my sanity. What cough remedies work for you? Lay your best ideas on me…I’m desperate!

posted at 8:54 AM  
Labels: Kids